NB: Whatever gets you through the night discusses mental heath issues. I am a writer not a medical professional., so If this piece causes any concerns for you, please see a Doctor immediately. This is always the best thing to do.
Many years ago, John Lennon wrote the song Whatever gets you through the night. The key point of the song is that whatever gets you through the dark times is fine, as long as you do no harm. Whilst this is in essence true, the notion of doing no harm is not that clear. Let’s be straight about this, firstly you should do no harm to other people in your struggle to overcome. It is not okay to build yourself up at others’ expense. Secondly, it is important not to harm yourself in your desire to overcome either. Whilst that sentence seems a little contradictory, we need to keep in mind the high level of self medication with alcohol and illicit drugs by people who are simply trying to get through each night unscathed. There are far more effective ways of making it to the dawn of a new day.
Whilst the message about too much alcohol and drugs is clear and obvious, it is still worth visiting briefly. Alcohol is a natural depressant. Whilst there is a small window where you may feel fantastic, drinking too much is a slippery slope to greater sadness, headaches and addiction. Adding a hangover to depression is often the thing that tips you into dangerous territory. Not only that, alcohol negates the effect of many antidepressants and can cause great damage when mixed with others. I am not a Chemist, but I have read the information and listened to the experts. If you are on antidepressants, the safest amount of alcohol to ingest is nil.
Physical activity
That said, there are things that many people do that are healthy ways to get through the darkness. The key to which is balance. I have a friend who took up triathlons because life had been tough and she couldn’t sleep in the mornings for worry. She figured she might as well be walking. Walking led to running and eventually she added swimming and cycling to her routine. Whenever she trains, she prays and thinks. It helps her. Now her husband and children happily drive her to events on weekends and cheer her on.
Triathlons are not for everyone, including me, and triathlons do not solve the problem of depression. They are simply an illustration that having a passion or purpose that drives you can be a key step in getting through the night. My thing is walking. My knees are shot and my brain can’t keep up with running, so walking is better. Swimming too, is good, because (pardon the pun) it gets you in the flow. I have a mate who calls swimming black line meditation because she thinks about her stroke and her kick, how many laps she’s done and so on. The tough stuff has to step aside for a while.
Journaling
I have said many times that I can sometimes keep the dark thoughts at bay by writing about them. I write them into a corner by reminding myself of all the things that are better than isolating and ruminating. It gives me a tiny sense of control over the darkness. Some people like the formal nature of poetry, some write songs, while others write reams and reams of thoughts and then burn them. When you write to get through the night, it is not about form and quality or what others think, it is about overcoming. What you do with the results is up to you.
Talking
The good thing about clichés is that there is often an element of truth to them. The particular cliché that is relevant here is ‘A problem shared is a problem halved.’ I am not talking about sharing your pain with anyone. If you tell a stranger on the train about your mental health, for instance, they are likely to say “What the hell do you want me to do about it? I’m getting off at Erskineville.” No, I am talking about particular friends.
Not all friends, no matter how loyal, are good at handling your pain. Some freak out, some dont know what to say and others simply can’t relate. It is nobody’s fault in the end. It just is. So it is best to work out early on who you can call in an emergency and who understands. The ones that understand are worth their weight in gold. Not only will they hold your hand in the darkness, they will guide you as well.
Get outside
Getting outside seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people (me included) hide away when they feel rotten. The thinking being that ‘I can’t handle much today, so I’ll just hide away’. This is one of those times when you need to tighten your belt and disobey you catastrophising brain. Get up, go outside and walk, mow the lawn, have a coffee or do the shopping. It doesn’t really matter what it is, but getting out in the sunshine is healthy. Hearing the birds in the trees is healthy and ticking off a few jobs is healthy.
If you are being useful, eventually your brain believes it
Behavioural activation is a fabulous topic in Psychology that proves that if you keep active and do valuable things, eventually your depressed brain will start to believe it. Make a list of jobs you’ve been meaning to get to and then start ticking them off. They don’t have to be that significant. Maybe make a list of places you’ve always meant to visit and start forcing yourself to go out. Volunteer to do some good.
The simple point is that you are proving to yourself that you are still valuable. You are showing both yourself and those around you that you haven’t given up. Many people have found great long term joy in what started out as a routine activity.
The weird stuff
Everybody has their own little peccadillos and habits. Self soothing things that they have done since forever because they help. Whether it is dressing up as Batman to feel stronger or baking Chocolate Chip Cookies at midnight to surprise the family, it doesn’t matter, as long as it helps and does no harm. I’m pretty good on the air guitar if the truth be known. The key point is obvious, if it doesn’t do any harm and makes you feel better, then do it. ‘Whatever gets you through the night’ as John Lennon sang. Whatever you do, be it sword fighting with stuffed toys, shadow boxing Rocky or nudie runs around the house, please resist the urge to film it and whatever you do, don’t post it on the internet.
The goal in the end is balance. When things are tough and you can’t see the light, do whatever gets you through the night, as long as it is legal and does no harm to anyone. A little safety plan is always a good thing to have at the back of your mind. Just remember, some things like alcohol, seem a good idea at the time, but aren’t. If you are struggling, STAY AWAY FROM IT. Much better to indulge in healthier habits and look after yourself.
Related stuff
Five ways to be kinder to yourself » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated
Behavioural activation fun and achievement (healthywa.wa.gov.au)
Walking is good 🙂
Agree wholeheartedly.