What does healing look like? » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated

If your leg has been broken, you know when it has healed. The plaster comes off and you can walk again. Similarly with a cold. The stuffy nose clears and you stop sneezing and coughing. So how do you know when you have healed from mental health issues? Indeed, do you heal from mental health issues or are they with you for the long haul? Mental health, like the mind, is a complex and detailed thing. No two people experience it in the same manner because it is all so personal, but there are similarities that we can rely on.

The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality…
Andrew Solomon -The Noonday Demon

Depression in particular, affects your ability to function, your executive function in other words. Andrew Solomon, author of ‘The Noonday Demon’ accurately indicates that it takes away your vitality. It causes tiredness, sadness, isolation, irritability, loss of interest and sleep issues to name a few. Depression too can be temporary and situational or permanent. Either way, whether you are trying to overcome something temporary or come to terms with something permanent, you know you are healing when these aspects of your life begin to improve. When everyday responsibilities that have been too much for you, become possible once again. The trouble is that it takes time, professional medical guidance and a consistent effort to turn the ship of mental ill health around.

A brief word on temporary and permanent…

I am a writer with an interest in mental health. I am in no way qualified to offer medical advice. This blog is a general guide only. If you are experiencing mental health concerns, always consult a doctor immediately.

When someone beloved dies, you lose your career or are permanently disabled in a workplace accident, it is natural that you experience a level of depression. This is a logical and reasonable response to something terrible. Lets assume that you were not experiencing mental health issues prior to the devastating event. Given time, medical advice (that may include medication) and a healthy approach to your depression, all evidence suggests that you will return to full health. Notice that medical advice is underlined. This is because it is always key.

A permanent diagnosis is different. It may feel similar and have similar symptoms to the temporary version, but it is entirely resistant to all normal efforts to overcome it. Indeed it is likely to come and go over time for years and require detailed guidance from a variety of medical professionals including GPs, Psychologists and Psychiatrists. If temporary mental health problems are an appropriate response to difficult circumstances, a more permanent diagnosis is a response out of all proportion to your circumstances. In either case, healing looks similar. It involves an increase in vitality and resilience.

The reason it takes time

Healing from poor mental health takes time. This is because in most cases, the best path forward involves unlearning poor habits like wrong or negative thinking by challenging them with more appropriate thinking skills and techniques. These skills include proven approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Behavioural Activation and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Healing also takes time because you need to replace negative habits like isolation, over-sleeping and self medication with a healthier lifestyle. This takes determination and effort. Mindfulness as an example, is proven to help and whilst you can start immediately, it takes time to develop it. Resilience too, builds through interventions like measured exposure to perceived threats, exercise and positive activities, but like regrowing nerves, it takes time.

Healing from poor mental health and depression is not simply about taking a magic pill. I wish it was. In fact, to once again paraphrase Andrew Solomon, ’Medication does not take away my depression, but it does enable me to function.’ If a Doctor prescribes you medication, it is because it is important for you. It will not take the pain away, but it will enable you to live with the pain. Finding the right type and level of medication takes time.

So how do you know you are healing?

Over time, you will find that you can function that little bit easier. You will find that seeing friends and going to work does not drain you as much as it had at your worst. Sometimes, ordinary things will bring you joy because you were not expecting joy. Walking with your dog or eating an ice cream with the kids, for instance. You may find that you are sleeping better, drinking less and getting out sometimes. Perhaps someone who knows you well will say that you are looking better. The point is that healing comes in tiny increments day by day.

I love the story about the snail that climbs up the wall three centimetres every day, only to slide back two centimetres every night. It will take a long time for the snail to get to the roof, but it will get there if it keeps going. Healing from mental health is like that. You just have to listen to the right people and keep doing what works. Andrew Solomon says it beautifully…