Life, it seems, is a little like an all downhill roller coaster. Before you’ve even had time to settle in, it is already speeding up. Eventually things pass you by before you’ve even had a chance to prepare yourself. Life starts flying by so quickly that it becomes a blur. In the end, you are left disappointed, confused and a little discombobulated. Like a roller coaster, sometimes a tragedy, bad luck, lack of maintenance or even poor behaviour can cause you to derail. You find yourself stuck halfway through life’s ride, watching others enjoy themselves while you deal with pain. The key at times like these is to find something to be grateful for and to enjoy the moment as well as you can. In those rare moments of life when you get a few minutes to breathe, the best thing you can do is to appreciate the breeze and enjoy the peace with whomever you’re with.
Counting your blessings
‘A new day begins at midnight’
Counting your blessings is a sure way of laying the groundwork for a few peaceful moments. A future peaceful moment often begins in the tough times. My son is a champion little fellow. He is kind and empathetic. Sometimes though, like all children, he gets anxious and overwhelmed about something. If we are alone, he will tell me what is on his mind. Because I know him well and because it is not my own anxiety, I can often help him. We play this little game where we take it in turns to list five things that we are grateful for. They can be anything from chocolate to the love of family. After five minutes of gratitude for what is good in his life, he has calmed enough that we can solve his problem with a little perspective.
Not surprisingly, being grateful when I myself am stressed, is not as easy. From within my world of turmoil, I can often get lost in my negativity. This is why a gratitude journal, a gratitude app or simply a routine of gratitude can really help. My dear father used to say, ‘Habit is the great liberator of conscience’ and he was right. If I feel depressed, stressed or worried, my first reaction now is to remind myself of how much love surrounds me, how I’ve had a good career, how special chocolate is and how my cat flops in my lap lovingly whenever I sit down. Counting your blessings is a really grounding thing to do and paves the way for joy.
Do nothing….
There is a great Cameron Crowe movie from the 1980’s titled Say Anything. In it, the main character Lloyd Dobler, played by John Cusack, keeps a girl who happens to be out of his league interested by constantly talking. I relate to this approach with women, however unlike Lloyd who gets the girl, I often stuffed things up with what I said. If only I’d have left things to develop naturally, I’d have saved myself a lot of angst. We can face the same problem when we finally find ourselves content for a moment. We do anything to try to hold on to that elusive feeling and ironically end up chasing it away.
A simpler approach is important when moments of peace turn up. I’ll be out for coffee, walking with my wife, sitting by the beach or just watching television with my children, when I become aware that I am content for the first time in a long while. Struggling with Depression and PTSD as I do, I am always a little surprised when this happens. Still, I have learnt enough not to do too much to stuff it up. Instead I embrace mindfulness techniques designed to encourage this peace. I notice the breeze on my skin, the taste of the coffee or my wife’s soft hand in mine and then I let it be. I try not to analyse it.
Where is your brain?
The reason that I have always had trouble enjoying the present moment, is that I was rarely ever there, or at least my mind wasn’t. I was either ruminating on past events or catastrophising future ones. If I wasn’t regretting something stupid that I’d said, I was worrying about what could go wrong tomorrow. There is a place for analysing what has or might happen, but it should never dominate your mind. With this type of mindset, you can easily see why peace is so hard to come by.
The beauty of learning mindfulness to help you be present, is that even if it is for as little as ten minutes a day, it is ten minutes that my mind gets to rest. In those ten minutes for instance, I notice the birds outside, I hear the breeze in the trees and I enjoy being a peaceful part of the world as it passes me by. Not only that, I find that I am better at recognising the beginnings of a more peaceful, present moment mood than I ever was before. Now, when I feel peace, blessedness and inner contentment approach, rather than trying to capitalise on it, I simply notice it, accept it, thank God and continue with my day as much in the present as I can.
Mindfulness Meditation Breathing anchor – YouTube
The simple things
Peace, at least in my mind, seems to turn up the most when I am doing something simple and enjoyable. A Psychologist might call it ‘being in the flow’. This means that your mind is fully present in a moment. My advice then, is to know yourself well enough to plant those simple habits that help you be in the moment, into your day. Be consciously grateful for them and employ mindfulness to help you embrace those moments rather than stressing about yesterday or tomorrow. It really is as simple as limiting your past and future in favour of the present moment.
Hi Buddy, love the thoughts and I also try not to overthink and enjoy the moment 🙂