I will give you the treasures of darkness and the riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by name.
Isaiah 45:3
There are certain lessons and blessings in life that we can only access through struggle. These lessons are deep and powerful because they are hard fought and won. The use of the metaphor ‘treasures’ in the verse above is well chosen. In a modern world, where just about everything is instant and available if only you have the money, it is comforting to know that old fashioned ideals like character and wisdom are not so easily gained. The reason it is comforting is because at some point or another, we all face hard times. The darkness will fall upon each of us to varying degrees in life and it is nice to know that treasures can be found there. It is comforting then, because it encourages us to hold on. It says that whilst suffering will happen, that whilst bad times will come, some good can be learned from them.
An example
When I was younger and perhaps more naive, I approached my faith like it was a set of instructions on how to get what I wanted. I figured that God was like a great vending machine and if you paid with the right currency, you’d get what you want within reason. This was more of a subconscious belief than an explicit one. Still it was a little stupid to think so selfishly of a personal God. It wasn’t until the bottom fell out of my world and I faced PTSD and Major Depression, that I realised that trying to manipulate an all knowing, all powerful God, no matter how politely I did it, was pointless to the greatest degree. God hadn’t created my suffering, but he was going to use it to teach me something valuable.
It wasn’t until I was completely broken that I was desperate enough to be honest with God in my prayers. This proved to be a blessing. Admitting on my knees that I was angry, confused and lost, was what I needed. I can almost imagine Him saying ‘About time…’. If things had gone along comfortably, I may still be deluding myself. From the darkness, not only did I learn about how loving and patient God was, I learnt just how much I had deluded myself and for how long. Facing the truth was akin to a great weight lifting off my shoulders and it grew my faith in a way that no other life experience could.
The little engine that could
One great technique for reinforcing lessons to children, is to record them completing a desired task. If you then replay it to them whenever they don’t believe they can do what is asked of them, they often find a way to overcome. The film acts as a reminder that they not only can do the task, they’ve actually done it before. Surviving the darkness by employing deliberate, healthy techniques, acts as a reminder to us that we’ve done it before and we can do it again.
When you are hunkered down in the darkest corner of your world, with the shutters down, it often feels easier to stay there. If, however, you have ignored your unhealthy inner voice before and gone for a walk when you really didn’t want to, you will know that it helps. You will know that forcing yourself out of the house each day and keeping some form of a routine is tough, but it works. You will know that you are stronger than you feel.
What is truly important?
One of the treasures of the darkness is that the experience is like a refining fire. When you feel like you have no strength left to keep at it, you learn what is truly important. At my worst, I would have said ‘no’ to tickets to a concert, a trip overseas or a bath in a vat of chocolate. There was very little that would motivate me. Yet, when one of my children was sick, I would walk over hot coals to look after them without a thought. When the only thing that cheers you up is being with your family, you learn pretty quickly where to prioritise your time and energy and where not to.
Very quickly, things that used to mean a lot to you, no longer concern you at all. Things like other people’s opinions, social media and spending more time at the office very quickly get put in their place. Overcoming the darkness has a powerful way of boiling down what is really important to its essence. In my experience this essence involves things like kindness, love, commitment, service, true friendship and being creative. It doesn’t seem to involve power, wealth, political influence or reputation.
Seeing yourself as you truly are…eventually
It was once said to me that ‘Your depressed self is not a good counsellor’ and this is completely true. Also, when you have your inner voice tell you that you are worthless or that ‘they’d be better off without you’, you learn to monitor and question your thoughts and self assessments. The negative things you tell yourself are never accurate. Making major decisions, then, about who you really are when you are down is not a good idea. With professional help, however, you can become more attuned to both your strengths and weaknesses. Psychologists can help you see yourself more truly.
I, for instance, learnt that I am much more emotional than I realised. I am harder on myself than I should be and I need time out after social occasions to recoup. This has helped me to learn to be much more observant of my inner workings and avoid unneeded emotional triggers. I have learnt to accept that I am not strong in some areas and that they need work. Through my Psychologist, I learnt a great deal of mental health techniques to keep my mind on an even keel. I have also learnt to embrace the areas where I am strong. Knowing myself has enabled me to plan for my needs ahead of time. In this way I can avoid some of the pitfalls I used to always fall into. I couldn’t have learnt this any other way.
Good out of bad
Nobody wants to struggle. Nobody suffering depression would choose it over joy, peace and feeling valued. Noone wants to be in the darkness, but sometimes we have no choice. Sometimes darkness surrounds us before we can do anything about it. This is when we need to remind ourselves that while we have not chosen to be in this place, given time, deliberately healthy activities and solid support, we will become stronger and wiser than we ever could have imagined. We will find the rarest of treasures.
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Tips for making better decisions when you’re sad » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated
Good words Buddy. They resonate 🙂
Thanks Pal. I appreciate the encouragement.
Good advice & wise words. 👍