Coping with isolation
After a day or two, when everyone has settled into the unnatural routine of lockdown, strange sensory changes begin to emerge in households around the country. When the 6.30am train to the city no longer beckons and when children finally realise that they don’t have to be up in the morning, subtle new sensations begin to make themselves known.
If you are lucky, some of these sounds will be positive, like the gentle swish of the page from a book that your teenager is reading or the shuffling of pans from the kitchen, indicating that someone has decided to cook something delicious for morning tea. Yes, lockdown has had a wonderful effect on the peaceful, creative and self-driven souls amongst us, whom now, as if to rub it in, can also bake sourdough.
Other sensations, though, represent an entirely different response to Covid isolation. It has been said that we either adjust to stress or maladjust to stress. Those maladjusters amongst us will know well the crisp sound of a teenager choking on the putrid smell emanating from their own room or the shuffle of worn out slippers of their partner sliding from the couch to the toilet and back again.
Well past midnight, the light sleepers amongst us may smell the yeasty aroma of a ten year old boy making himself jam on toast for no apparent reason or the sneaky clicks and bumps of a fourteen year old attempting to turn on the gas heater so that she can be warm whilst watching brutal foreign cop shows on SBS.
Yes, covid isolation has certainly had an effect. For each of us, be we more comfortable on our own or in large groups, have had to adjust to it in ways both big and small. The big adjustments are often concerned with suddenly working from home or not working at all, juggling your own responsibilities whilst entertaining your offspring and the huge challenge of not using too much toilet paper. A word of advice to the parents amongst us…don’t barge into the toilet with righteous indignation when you hear the spine chilling zing of the toilet roll holder at high speed. Teenagers tend not to like it.
It is however, the smaller changes that I appreciate best. The gentle sweetness in my wife’s voice when she suggests with delight at half past ten in the morning that we go for a walk with the dog, or my creative daughter suggesting that we write something together just for fun. I like having home cooked snacks available to me at any time and I really like watching cartoons with my son whenever we feel like it. Most of all though, I love having time to be with my loved ones.
I realise though, that not everyone is lucky enough to live with their loved ones. My wife and her mother are very close and yet, due to illness and the miles between them, they have not been together in well over a year. Others too, are not lucky enough to be able to lean on their usual routine. Loss of work and regular social gatherings can take a heavy toll on many of us.
Initially I fell into an unhealthy routine when I became suddenly stranded. Late night television, sleeping too long, eating what I felt like, lack of exercise and too much time on devices can take a quick toll on both your physical and mental health.
Behavioural activation
That is why, particularly during lockdown, if we are struggling with mental health, then we need to establish a routine. We need to keep busy. The particular idea I would draw your attention to in relation to this, is Behavioural Activation. Whilst I am by no means medically trained, I have been able to employ Behavioural Activation to good effect and recommend it highly.
Essentially, Behavioural Activation shows that if we keep busy and work on areas of our lives that we value, even if we feel like warmed up shit and our inner voices are telling us to hide away, then eventually our sluggish and depressed brain will catch up to our active and engaged body. Don’t take my word for it. A little online research will explain just how effective this approach can be.
So establish a routine no matter how monotonous and follow it no matter what your mind says. Remember, your depressed self is not a good counselor, so a healthy routine can be priceless in isolation. e.g. 8.00am breakfast – 9.00am walk -10am coffee – 11.00am mindfulness -12pm yard work and so on. The activity is up to you. Then hopefully the sensations you begin to notice are not sadness and fear, but a calmer and quieter mind.
Lockdown has advantages » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated
Thanks for reminding us all about the importance of a regular routine something I am lacking at present and finding myself feeling flat.
Thanks, Marg. I’ve even gone back to writing myself a to do list. You always impressed me as a very creative person with baking, craft etc. That must be great to fall back on Speaking of which, I’m enjoying all the holiday pics on FB.
Yes I am a great believer of routine. Not to the extent anymore that if I don’t achieve what I planned to do I get stressed over it.
By the end of the day I get a sense of satisfaction in having achieved some of the “tasks” I have been wanting to do all week not to say months.
It’s now a habit for me to keep a routine for a pleasant morning tea and a walk in the park on a beautiful day. I call these the pleasant tasks.
Yes I find that keeping busy and establishing a routine is definitely therapeutic.
My dear old Dad used to say “Habit is the great liberator of conscience.” When you are the caring person we know you are, setting time for yourself must be really valuable. That morning cuppa can be an oasis on some days.
Such wise words. Taking this strange time to connect with family and just appreciate them is so important.
Particularly good advice on the teenagers and toilet paper .😃
Thanks, Mark. Yes I am known in some parts as the toilet paper whisperer. Have you noticed that teenagers seem to use 100 feet of paper per visit?
Actually, it really is lovely to see the family settle into being together and reconnecting like you say. One of the side benefits of Lockdown I spose.
spending time with the family has been the best for lockdown and the calm sound of nature and just watching everything go by
What a wise young man. You make me feel so proud everyday.
I use to think that the lockdown was only bringing out negative energy. But, I’ve come to realize that the lockdown has helped me grow into a better person.
I agree wholeheartedly. I’ve felt some stress levels decrease that have been high for as long as I can remember.
During lockdown I took time it really think about everything in my life. Lockdown was good for me and my mental health. Enjoyed reading your blog post.
Thankyou kindly. Taking am organised approach to contemplation and lockdown really helps.
Thank you for sharing your experience with lockdown. I enjoyed reading about your transition.
Thankyou Rose. I appreciate your comments.
I loved reading your post. I totally agree that having a routine is very important. The night owl in me is loving lockdown and the great big tension knot in my neck is finally gone!!!
That’s great news, Ruth. Funnily enough, the night owl in me has gone quiet. I tend to go to bed on time these days.