Holding back the tide

Monitoring yourself for depression can feel like you are holding back the tide sometimes.  Things may not have even gone wrong, but you know the swell is coming just the same.  Wave after wave of everyday issues tire you out and you know the next big one could drag you under.  It might sound a little weak to the uninitiated, but when you have depression, maintaining appearances and keeping yourself steady and on track can be exhausting.   At your best you strive forward and make higher ground.  At your worst, the best you can hope for is to tread water.  These are the times that you need to stop excessive thinking and do what you are taught to do.  Like the swimmer trained to swim with the current to the edge of a rip, you can’t panic. All you can do is follow your routine.  Meditate, exercise, do the little things and avoid rumination and catastrophizing.  Like every huge tide that comes along, there will eventually be a lull that follows it.

_{NB: This blog discusses mental heath issues. I am a writer not a medical professional, so If this piece causes any concerns for you, please see a Doctor immediately. This is always the best thing to do.}

Keeping up appearances is exhausting

Have you ever been in a rip?  They aren’t always signposted, so before you know it, sometimes you’re stuck before you realise. You are swimming flat out in one direction, only to find yourself exhausted and drifting backwards.  It is easy to panic. Depression is like that.  You go along telling everyone that you are fine, turning up to meetings and doing your chores.  Then suddenly, for any number of reasons,  you are overwhelmed with grief and pain. Because you have spent so much energy on appearing okay, you have little left to fight the depression with.

With a rip, the key is to use the power of the current by swimming with it, angling towards the edge.  Struggling against it is pointless. Eventually you will reach safe water where the current is manageable. Depression is much the same.  Firstly, you need to realise that things are going badly.  With this realisation must come acceptance.  Once you have accepted your situation, you can get things in order.  Make sure your mindfulness practice is as good as it could be.  Take your medication.  Don’t shut yourself away, no matter how appealing it feels and get out and exercise.  

No one person is an island

The most important step in working your way through a recurring bout of depression is communication.  You need to tell someone.  Many people struggling with Major Depression for the first time, initially and wisely seek medical help.They seek guidance from Doctors, Psychiatrists and Psychologists.  Then after they have emerged from the worst of it, they cut off ties, either through pride, ignorance or even doubt about their diagnosis.  Let me make this clear, when you are mentally ill, your relationship with your medical team must be a long term one.  You may be struggling for all manner of reasons and it is best to let trusted medical people figure out why.  Like the swimmer in a rip, the one that survives is the one that puts their hand up for the lifeguard.

Also, let your partner, spouse, friend or colleague know that things aren’t great at the moment.  If they are anything like my wife, they often know the tide is coming in before I do.  If your relationship is a good one, they will be able to cut you some slack, look after you and in time, help guide you back to shore.

You never know what the tide will bring

Tom Hanks in Castaway, told his buddy that while wrecked on an island, he nearly took his own life out of hopelessness.  He explains that in the end he realised that hope was what would keep him alive.  He then mutters those wonderful words “I’d get up each day, because I never knew what the tide would bring.“  In the middle of depression, you need to give yourself something to hope for.  You need, like Tom, to give yourself something to look forward to.

I have known people with depression who learned to love new things to give themselves hope.  From Triathlons to hiking, from writing to cooking, the activities that people have used to get themselves off the couch are endless.  It can be as simple as a coffee with a pal to as complex as a world trip.  What motivates you isn’t the issue.  Finding something that gives you hope is.

Overwhelmed? Do what you’re told

A circling bout of depression really is like trying to hold back the tide.  Disaster seems inevitable and hiding away feels like the only option.  This is when you need to not listen to yourself and instead follow the plan you have for just such times.  Do the things that work for you. Avoid the triggers.  Communicate with good people.  TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR  and give yourself something to look forward to.  If you keep at it, eventually the tide will turn and you will break free of the rip.

Related links

When someone is not okay… Recognise the signs. Know what to do. » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated

Recovery – Everyone needs a plan » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated %

Mental health resources and tools – Black Dog Institute