Freedom – A highly valued thing

Freedom is a loaded word.  It is a word that means something to everyone. The truth is that freedom means something slightly different to each of us.  To a prisoner it obviously means being allowed out of jail. Someone caught in a bad marriage may see freedom as an unachievable state.  To a Pastor it will mean salvation, while a school student might think of holidays. To a poor person, freedom may mean money.  In fact, it could possibly mean all these things to the same person at once.  With so many subjective takes on the term, the particular aspect of freedom I want to muse over here, then, is freedom of the mind.  Freedom from the enemy within through clear values.

From the earliest of times

From the earliest of times we become implicitly aware that we are not truly free.  I wasn’t that old when I realised that I was essentially hemmed in by laws, expectations, morals and my own limitations.  If you had asked me what my definition of freedom was, I don’t think I could have told you.  I’d guess that it was probably the same for most of us.

Forging a path

As I forged a path in life, I might have said that freedom is the ability to do what I wanted for a living and to afford to indulge my interests.  Even then, I knew that I was hemmed in by exams, mortgages, relationships and my own ideals.  If I am completely honest here, I would admit that the greatest blockage to my freedom was the perceived opinions and judgements of others. This perception stopped me trying many good things.

The middle stretch

As I moved inevitably towards middle age, I began to realise that freedom from the expectations and judgment of others, was not in their hands, but mine.  You see, in many cases the expectations and judgements I feared were not even real. In fact, the only place they really existed was in my own mind.  I’m not saying that people never judged or looked down on me, because I know they did. It is human nature.  They just didn’t do it anywhere near as often or as harshly as I imagined.  In fact, the harshest critic was within me.

There is an advantage to being middle aged.  By and large, you have created a life for yourself and are generally settled with a career, home, friends and family. There is an element of autonomy that comes with not having to struggle as much.  You also finally  become less afraid of offending people and more focussed on your children.

Surrender – letting go

At around this time, I had my career ended by a number of traumatic experiences that were beyond my control.  It was a difficult time of adjustment and pain, but in many ways it has led to greater freedom.  What was in the beginning a violent and binding thing, ultimately guided me to a better life. You see I am becoming someone I wouldn’t have become otherwise.  The need to worry about everyone’s opinion of me was taken away. Once I had surrendered my professional hopes and dreams and stopped struggling to be a success in the perceived minds of those around me, I felt free for the first time.

This took a significant period and much effort, but it was worth it.  Much like the butterfly that emerges from the chrysalis, I am slowly breaking free of the expectations that both others and myself have covered me with.  What makes me beautiful then, in this well worn analogy, is not that I am becoming attractive to others, but that I am becoming more like the person I wish to be.

Faith- Spiritual freedom

The follower of Jesus Christ within me, would indicate that ultimately, true freedom is found in salvation.  This is not a religious blog, but I should mention that religion can offer spiritual freedom to the believer.  A raison d’etre to be specific. The beauty of Christianity, then, is that the Christ-like expectations that come with it, in my opinion, offer the best possible guide to life. My values are reflected in it.  I am not talking about the subjective interpretation of faith by Politicians and those that might use it for their own gain.  I refer specifically to the example of Jesus himself.  The kind, compassionate, self sacrificing Christ, not his flawed followers.

Values – Signposts to subjective freedom

It will sound strange to some, but I associate knowing and living by my values with freedom, because the expectations that come with them are my own.  They have not been forced on me by the world.  Sure there are cultural and religious influences in there, but in the end I put effort into them because they matter to me and say something about me.  I choose to focus on one rather than another.

Being kind to others and generous with those less fortunate is a great example.  I have spent a great deal of my career over the years, supporting those that need it most because it is important to me.  The choice to focus on this value more than say ‘justice for the oppressed’ is simply because it comes from within.  It is part of who I am and part of who I want to be.  It is no less or more important than the choice of the person that dedicates their lives to fighting injustice. The difference is simply that it is my value.

The beauty of values

The beauty of living according to your values then, is that it gives you an achievable measurement for success. One that is important to you.  I am no more or less significant than a wealthy and influential person, because I set the bar to measure myself according to what I consider truly valuable.  The bar is set, not according to the accumulation of wealth or by whom I have lunch with, but by how close to my own values I live.  The scenery may change and my comfort level wax and wane, but my values are my bedrock to stand upon.

This is freedom from everyone’s expectations but my own.

Links

Evidence of a valuable life » The Good The Bad and The Unrelated

Value Sort — The Good Project